One decision that we made that was really tough was who not to invite. We chose not to invite kids to our wedding.
Eric and I are not big on kids. Neither one of us has ever wanted kids (although we reserve the right to have one should our minds change in the next 5-10 years). We didn't want to have to come up with 'kid friendly' anything. We wanted every single one of our friends to have a fun night away from the stress of being a parent and watching their kid(s) 24/7.
Was this decision selfish? Sure. Whatever makes someone feel better about our decision, call it that. It's our day. It's our wedding. We can't afford to feed 25 extra mouths that will likely not consume much of what's given to them. This may sound harsh, but I don't care.
Eric and I are throwing this entire wedding without going into one cent of debt and I'm going to stand by that choice before I breakdown and allow a bunch of extras to make everyone else happy.
Moving on, everyone always tells you "oh, it's your day...just make sure you do what you want". I agree with that 100%...just bare in mind that what you want 100% of the time will likely step on the toes of someone that has given you that exact advice.
What lessons have I learned so far? Over communicate. We may be more than six months from the wedding, but the minute you know something or make a decision that may affect someone...put it on your website. If it affects very few people or just one person, go ahead and communicate that via phone or email.
Another lesson? Don't back down. Your decision is your decision for a reason. People will either decide to show or not to show...that's their call. You aren't making your deicisons to hurt anyone, you're making the decisions you want. Enough said.
Sorry this is a harsh post but, I've gotten quite a bit of heat and I don't like it. My decisions are my decisions. Our wedding is our wedding. We're going to have what we want.
Next time...let's talk Monterey venues!
I think it is common for people to request no children at their wedding. And, it makes perfect sense why people would make that choice. I don't think you should have to defend it or feel badly about it. However, I have seen invitations requesting no children, with the exception of nursing newborns. They don't cost anything to feed. ;) Also, I don't think it is as hard of a decision for you to make, I think it really puts the hard decision making on the invitee with kids...because they have to decide now if going to your wedding is 'worth it'.
ReplyDeleteI actually considered NOT going to my own brother's wedding because he did not allow children. And I got a little mad at him for telling me I couldn't bring my kids very shortly before the wedding. I was obviously not going to skip out on his wedding...but I was already investing in flying from Hawaii and getting a rental car. My husband couldn't get out of work to attend, so I was on my own. My son was 5 weeks old and exclusively breastfed. So, not only did I have to shell out $100 extra for a last minute random babysitter, but I had to travel with my breast pump and force him to learn to drink from a bottle in a couple of days. As an added bonus, after being separated from my baby for 4 hours, I leaked through my nursing pads and the entire front of my dress was soaked with milk for the second half of the reception. Haha. Good times. To get even, I missed the cake cutting to watch the end of the Big XII Championship game in the back of the room, hiding my wet chest. He might (my mom might) have had to shell out $47 for me to be there...but I spent well over $1500 on travel, his wedding gift and babysitting...something he would have NEVER considered doing to attend my wedding.
In the end, I concluded that it was more important to me for me to be at his wedding than it was important to him for me to be at his wedding. That made me really sad, but it was HIS day, so he had every right to think it would have been just fine without me there.
Just thought I'd share another point of view on the subject. Maybe consider the nursing newborn option? They just sit there, and don't require anything 'kid friendly' except for their mom. :)
I support this 110%! As someone who doesn't have children (by choice), I would rather NOT sit in a room with wiggling, talking children or crying babies. Nor do I want to have to spend however long at a reception hoping I don't trip over them, am bumped by them, have to hear them screaming, crying, yelling & all the other insane crazy things xhildren do in public places.
ReplyDeleteNo, I don't hate kids, I love them. I'm a nanny to two awesome boys. But a wedding is an ADULT thing. Kids don't know or even care what's going on. They don't feel "special" by being included in your wedding like adults do. They won't care that they're not invited. I HATED weddings when I was a kid because they were boring. Hell, I still hate going to weddings (even my own). Kids shouldn't be there & anyone gettin' all put out about it needs to reel it in & realize not everyone HAS to want their kids around.